Gen Z is not disengaged because they are lazy. They are navigating a flooded job market, economic instability, and workplaces that treat them like numbers instead of people. The fix is simpler than most leaders expect: get to know your team one on one, build real human connection, and make people feel seen from day one. This episode is essential for any owner or leader who keeps asking why their best hires do not stick around.
This episode is part of the Retention & Why Top Performers Leave series. Browse all episodes →
Mic drop moments
“…we see higher retention. We don’t see people looking for jobs the minute something’s challenging or an issue comes up because they’re invested in the work because they see you’re invested in them.”
“…before you look at, Oh, I got to get new people, look at how can I show up differently? How can I be that leader? How can I set the tone for the team?”
“It means taking it as a moment to be empowered and saying, Ooh, I actually have a lot more control of the situation than I thought I did originally.”
Episode highlights
The myth that tanking team performance means you hired wrong
When things are not running smoothly, the easiest story to tell yourself is that you have the wrong people. Lia calls this out directly: that belief is not just wrong, it is actively destructive. The moment you decide a team member is not cutting it, you stop investing in their growth, stop trusting them, and start looking for evidence that confirms what you already think. That is confirmation bias doing its work.
How resentment becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy
Team members can sense when a leader has mentally checked out on them. Once they feel that distrust, their behavior shifts: motivation drops, they stop bringing ideas, some start quietly looking for other jobs. What started as a small performance issue becomes a real one. The problem was not the team. The problem was the story the leader told about the team and then acted on.
The micromanagement trap that follows
Another common reaction is to double down on explanation, more detail, more oversight, more of the same approach that was not working. Lia is direct: that is not managing, that is overextending. Getting deep in the weeds because you do not trust your team does not fix the underlying issue. It signals to everyone that you do not believe they can handle it.
Taking responsibility is not the same as self-blame
The reframe Lia offers is simple and powerful: instead of pointing fingers at the team, pause and ask how you can show up differently. This is not about deciding you are a bad manager or that every bad hire is your fault. It is about recognizing that you have more control over the outcome than you thought. That recognition is energizing, not deflating. It means you can actually do something.
What it looks like to invite your team in
Lia gives a concrete example of what this sounds like in practice. You go to your team member and say something like: “I feel like I haven’t been setting clear expectations here. I know there have been some miscommunications and I want to be more clear. Do you want to shadow me on this task, or would a recorded walkthrough work better? Or do you want to try it yourself and I give you feedback after?” That kind of conversation does two things at once: it models transparency, and it hands the team member agency over how they learn best. You might discover they never needed more shadowing at all.
What actually changes when trust goes up
When team members feel genuinely trusted, the output changes in measurable ways. They bring ideas instead of just problems. They flag issues early instead of hiding them. They collaborate more, stay longer, and advocate for the team to others. Retention improves not because the compensation changed but because the person sees you are invested in them. In a business context, that turns into employees who help recruit and who talk about the company like somewhere worth working.
The move to make before you think about hiring anyone new
Before you decide you need to replace half the team, Lia’s directive is clear: look at how you are showing up first. Set expectations clearly. Delegate with real trust. Give team members a chance to show you what they can do when the conditions around them change. Rebuilding from within is faster, cheaper, and more effective than starting over. And when it works, which it usually does, you become the kind of leader people actively want to work for.
Related episodes in this cluster
- Ep 236: What to do when an employee tells you they’re thinking of leaving. When a team member gives you advance notice they may leave, the worst move is writing them off. Lia walks through The Sit Down, a re-engagement conversation that keeps great people invested longer, and explains how to handle the raise or promotion ask that sometimes comes with it. This episode is for any owner, founder, or team lead who wants to stop being blindsided by departures.
- Ep 207: The simple action that keeps your best people from leaving. Retention is not built by perks or promises. It is built by showing up the same way on your worst day as you do on your best. Lia walks through why consistency in your leadership values is the single biggest lever you have over whether your top people stay or go.
- Ep 203: Why top performers leave and the career conversation that keeps them. Top performers leave because they cannot see a future on your team, not because the job was bad. The fix is a regular career conversation, separate from performance reviews, where you ask about bigger-picture goals and then follow up with real opportunities. This episode is most useful for founders, owners, and team leads who want to stop losing good people before the resignation letter arrives.
- Ep 195: What Gen Z actually wants at work (and how to make them want to stay). Gen Z is not disengaged because they are lazy. They are navigating a flooded job market, economic instability, and workplaces that treat them like numbers instead of people. The fix is simpler than most leaders expect: get to know your team one on one, build real human connection, and make people feel seen from day one. This episode is essential for any owner or leader who keeps asking why their best hires do not stick around.
Want to go deeper?
The Unstoppable Team. How to build a team that runs without you in the room.
Full transcript (click to expand)
When we look at how are we showing up and we come forward and we’re transparent with our team members, we say, Hey, I feel like I haven’t been setting that clear of expectations here. I know there’s been some miscommunications and I want to be more clear. Let’s talk about what works for you all. Do you want to shadow me in this task? Or do you want me to record a loom video where I talk about how to do it?
Or maybe shadow another team member and see how they approached it. Do you want to run with it? And then I give you feedback after when we set the parameters around handoffs and delegation. Now we’re inviting our team members in. Welcome to the managing made simple podcast, where I bring a decade of experience working in some of the most influential companies in tech to help you navigate the ins and outs of being a people manager from conflicts, to feedback, to delegating and more.
We will leave no stone unturned when it comes to what makes us love managing, kind of hate it, and everything in between. Doesn’t matter if you’re a new manager looking for some tips, or a seasoned manager looking to up their game, everyone is welcome to hang out with Managing Made Simple. Let’s go. You ever feel like just when you have this whole manager thing figured out, something happens and turns everything upside down? This happens to all of us, and that’s why I created the Thriving Team Scorecard.
This gives you a list of 20 things you can do this month and every month. to be a better manager for your team. It includes things like setting expectations, giving and receiving feedback, recognition, little reminders of those things that sometimes we forget to do. But when we do them, it is transformational. The scorecard is that little nudge you need to make sure you are doing all the things you got to do to get your team firing on all cylinders.
Grab it today at liagarvin.com/scorecard. Welcome back to the show. Today, I want to dispel a myth that is out there that when things on our teams aren’t going efficiently, aren’t running well, are feeling really like they could be going better, that it is our team’s fault and we have the wrong people. Now based on kind of my tone there, you can already guess that I’m going to debunk the fact that it’s the team’s fault and say that it’s not really the team’s fault.
But before we get there, you know, I want to say this is liberating to realize that it’s not just the team’s fault or we don’t have the wrong people because we can actually make very simple shifts that are going to re infuse energy, momentum, and engagement and all that good stuff back in your team. But let’s talk about, well, what is the problem when we believe it’s our team’s fault? First of all, as a manager or business owner, we start to kind of resent our team member.
And we’re looking at people like, ah, this person here with their complaint again, or that person showing up 10 minutes late to the meeting with that iced coffee. And we start to look for reasons that prove what we already think, right? This is confirmation bias. And when we, when we have this belief that people aren’t really putting in all their, you know, best foot forward or people aren’t really showing up the best they can be, we, it can really cloud our judgment.
And this can make us feel really frustrated. It can make us resent our team members. It can make us, um, feel like we don’t trust them. And then that’s going to start to show up for our team members. So this can be really problematic because it can create a problem that was kind of not really there or just kind of sprinkling at the surface to become a really big issue. Because when our team, when we don’t trust our team members, they can tell, they know it.
And then they’re feeling uneasy because they know something’s up and then they start maybe slacking or doing like looking for another job or not performing their best. And then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. So, if we are believing, you know, this person’s not really good at this job or this person’s not showing up for it, and we just sit with that assumption and we let ourselves kind of snowball with it, that’s going to cause a worse problem.
The other thing that we can start to see is people aren’t just understanding what’s in my head, right? They’re not getting it. I told them and then why aren’t they running with it? You know, when we start to think that people aren’t understanding and then we snowball with that and then maybe we start to micromanage and we say, okay, if you don’t understand, like let me get really deep in the weeds and start explaining it. Then we are actually overextending ourselves as a manager, business owner.
We are too involved. And we didn’t actually take the time to set expectations or to do all the good stuff I’ve talked about with delegating and setting expectations and taking a step back. But we already have this belief that we’re not challenging, that our team members, they just need more, more of the same explaining, more of the same thing we’re doing instead of a different approach. When we’re finding ourselves in this space, well, what is the cost of the team?
I’ve already mentioned that it can really chip away at trust. Our teams aren’t feeling motivated because they can sense that we think that they’re not that great. We’re not really investing in that team member’s development or growth because we’ve already made a judgment on thinking this person’s not here to stay, this person can’t cut it, this person’s not going to be able to make it on this team. We really create a situation that becomes really hard to get out from under.
And so I want to encourage you instead of going there, instead of doing that, instead of saying, Oh, things aren’t operating efficiently, work is late, or decisions are being reopened, or there’s some communication issues, or I’m having to give hard feedback and all these things. I don’t want to be doing that as the manager. I don’t want to be doing that as a business owner. So this means it’s my team’s fault. When we take that approach.
We are creating a path where we have to find new team members because we’re not going to give them a chance. But what if, instead of deciding that it was their fault and they’re not cut out for this and we have the wrong people, and doing a little bit of blaming, blaming them and kind of pointing fingers. We paused and we said, all right, what if I took a whole different approach and what if I took responsibility and said, okay, how can I show up different?
And now I want to caveat, this does not mean blaming yourself saying I’m a bad manager. I make bad hires. I, everything happens to me. No, doesn’t mean going in that direction either. It means taking it as a moment to be empowered and saying, Ooh, I actually have a lot more control of the situation than I thought I did originally. This is exciting. I can actually work to bring out the best in these team members. I can actually show up the way that I wish someone showed up for me as a manager.
And then we frame our whole approach around that. And when we do that, now we can build trust with our team members. We can cultivate new skills and opportunities for them. We can sit down with a team member and say, Hey, I really want to learn about what are some of your career goals? What are some of the things that you’re working on? Let’s make sure that we’re setting you up for that. And now that person’s motivated, that person’s bringing new ideas to the team, that person’s approaching their work in a whole different way.
You see their motivation and engagement skyrocket. And this was a person that maybe previously you made a decision that they only have like two months left on this team and they’re out. Okay. So now you’ve reengaged them. When we look at how are we showing up and we come forward and we’re, we’re transparent with our team members, we say, Hey, I feel like I haven’t been setting that clear of expectations here. I know there’s been some miscommunications and I want to be more clear.
Let’s talk about. What works for you all? Do you want to shadow me in this task? Or do you want me to record a loom video where I talk about how to do it? Or maybe shadow another team member and see how they approached it? Do you want to run with it? And then I give you feedback after. When we set the parameters around handoffs and delegation, now we’re inviting our team members in. And we might learn a whole lot about the way we’re doing it.
Like, you know, you’ve been asking me to shadow, but I actually need to try it on my own in order to figure out what I need to do. So could we do that way where I do it and you give me feedback. Now we’ve invited our team members in to explain what they need to be successful. And then we’re showing that we trust them by allowing them to do that again, instead of just writing them off, instead of deciding, Hey, this person I cut out for it, we demonstrate trust and now we can actually see.
Team members, when they feel like we trust them, they do better work. They bring new ideas to the table. We get that psychological safety where they feel comfortable like saying, Hey, I think we should try this another way, or, Hey, you know, this is something that would work better. And when people start sharing from that candid place, really feeling safe to speak up, that’s when they do their best work. Because they’re not afraid of, Oh, this person already has made a decision about me and, and it’s not worth doing.
Okay. And that’s where we see the best results on teams. We see it from an output and a productivity perspective, folks being proactive with ideas they bring to the table, solving problems in different ways, bringing other people along, right? Collaborating more. They’re not just sharing problems, but they’re sharing solutions. And not only that, we see higher retention. We don’t see people looking for jobs the minute something’s challenging or an issue comes up because they’re invested in the work because they see you’re invested in them.
So the more you take that personal responsibility as a manager, the more gains you’re going to get, not just today, but on an ongoing basis. You also become a manager that people want to work for. In a big company, you can get a bad rap as a manager that people keep leaving your team, or you can be a destination team. People say, Oh, I’ve heard about that manager. They invest in their people. When something goes wrong, they’re there to really help figure it out.
In a business, you are better at recruiting. Maybe you have employees that are helping bring in new folks. They’re really, you know, advocating for the company and how awesome it is to work there. That is the importance of not just writing off when things aren’t going well. Like, ah, I have the wrong people. I knew it. It’s something with the hiring. You actually stop, you take the time to reinvest in your team, really make sure that there are development opportunities, that they’re really focusing on strength, that you’ve made very, very clear expectations.
You’re delegating, you’re demonstrating trust, all the stuff I’ve talked about on this show and giving them a chance to show you that, Hey, when you show up differently as a manager, that not only is empowering for the team, it’s empowering for you because you don’t feel stuck feeling like, Oh God, I got to hire like 12 new people in the next six months to deliver this product. That’s not going to happen. You don’t have to start with changing the whole guard before you figure out what to do.
So when you feel that way, before you look at, Oh, I got to get new people, look at how can I show up differently? How can I be that leader? How can I set the tone for the team? Really demonstrate trust, listen to my team members, and you’re going to see the whole thing turn around. See you next time. That’s all I have for today. Thank you so much for tuning in to the Managing Made Simple podcast, where my goal is to demystify the job of people management so that together we can make the workplace somewhere everyone can thrive.
I always love to hear from you, so please reach out at LiaGarvin.com or message me on LinkedIn. See you next time.
Questions this episode answers
Why does blaming my team when things go wrong make the problem worse?
When you decide a team member isn't cutting it, confirmation bias kicks in and you start looking for proof of what you already believe. Your team can sense that lack of trust, and it makes them uneasy, disengaged, or quietly job hunting. What started as a small performance issue can snowball into a real retention problem. The belief that it's their fault becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and you never actually address the underlying systems or expectations that caused the issue in the first place.
What should I do instead of writing off a struggling team member?
Pause and ask how you can show up differently before deciding someone isn't the right fit. That doesn't mean blaming yourself. It means recognizing that you have more control over the situation than you thought. Sit down with the team member, get transparent about where expectations may have been unclear, and ask what they need to be successful. Give them options: shadow you, watch a recorded walkthrough, try it themselves and get feedback after. Invite them in rather than writing them off.
How do I re-engage a team member I've already mentally checked out on?
Start by being honest that expectations may not have been as clear as they needed to be, and ask what would actually help them succeed. Ask about their career goals and make sure the work connects to those. When a team member feels like you're genuinely invested in their growth, their motivation can shift fast. People who seemed like they had two months left on the team can completely turn around once they feel trusted and supported, not judged.
How does psychological safety connect to team performance?
When team members feel trusted, they stop holding back. They start sharing ideas, flagging problems early, proposing solutions instead of just raising issues, and collaborating more openly. That only happens when they don't feel like a decision has already been made about them. As a leader, when you demonstrate trust consistently, you create the conditions where people feel safe to speak up, and that's when you see the best output, the most proactive thinking, and the strongest retention.
What's the real cost of assuming you hired the wrong people every time something goes wrong?
If your default response to team problems is to start planning new hires, you skip the step where you figure out what actually needs to change. You lose people who could have been strong contributors with better expectations and support. You also develop a reputation as a leader whose team members keep leaving. Reinvesting in your current team, through clear delegation, honest conversations, and real development opportunities, is almost always faster and less costly than replacing everyone and starting over.